


The Sun

by southoffebruary



Category: Farscape, Farscape: The Peacekeeper Wars (2004)
Genre: Angst, F/M, Possible Character Death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-01
Updated: 2019-07-01
Packaged: 2020-06-02 04:17:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,690
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19433773
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/southoffebruary/pseuds/southoffebruary
Summary: Their happiness had always been chased by a black cloud. This time it had just taken longer to find them.





	The Sun

**Author's Note:**

> Post Peacekeeper Wars. No real spoilers for the series. Minor blink-and-you'll-miss-it from PKW.  
> Originally posted in 2010.  
> Thank you to my beta.

The war was into its sixtieth solar day.

Sixty days of relentless gunfire, bombs and bloodshed. And just like wars before it, millions lost their lives for a seemingly unreachable cause.

The Scarrans were first to break the treaty, slaughtering a planet of helpless creatures for the sheer enjoyment of it. Then a second followed; this time they secured valuable trade. It was always going to be the Scarrans that destroyed peace. Deep down, everyone had expected it, even though they never dared to say it. This time it seemed like there would be no stopping the brutal beasts until they destroyed the whole universe.

Before war erupted, there had been ten cycles of peace. Ten cycles Aeryn had spent with John and their family - happy. But their happiness had always been chased by a black cloud. This time it had just taken longer to find them.

When they’d first heard the news, they’d been on a small planet of friendly creatures, taking what John called 'vacation time' from travelling on Moya. She still remembered the dark expression on his face when he retuned from the main village one afternoon. She instantly got the sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach that had become so unfamiliar to her. 

She prayed that John's clouded expression was for some other reason; they'd run out of credits, or even that someone had died - anything would have been better than what he had told her.

"The Scarrans slaughtered two planets not far from here," he explained quietly, making sure their children didn't hear. "They want complete domination again, no holds barred, any planet that doesn't fall into line gets annihilated."

"So we leave, we get as far as. . ." she paused, noting how his eyes had fallen to the ground. He wasn't telling her everything. "There's more."

He nodded and raised his gaze slowly to look at her. She knew whatever was coming was not good. She hadn't seen that broken expression in John's eyes in ten cycles.

"One of the villagers said the Scarrans are looking for guy who created the - and I quote - black hole of destruction."

Instantly she felt sick. She wasn't sure if she wanted to cry, scream, throw up, or even all three. Silently she sat down and buried her head in her hands. The sinking feeling in her stomach reminded her that she'd become complacent. She wasn't prepared for this kind of news like she used to be. 

"Aeryn, I don't know what to do," he whispered as he sat down beside her. "They obviously think I still have wormhole technology. We know what they're like, they'll stop at nothing to get what they want ..."

She didn't hear the rest of what he said. The sinking in her stomach had slowly consumed her and scenarios were playing over in her head like a nightmare. She knew that whatever he said was probably exactly the same as she was thinking. They had to protect their family - they had to protect each other. But she also wondered if thoughts of their merciless deaths - their children's deaths - where playing over in his mind like they were hers. She shook the images away as best as she could and turned to him.

"We leave," she announced, making sure her tone was definite and final. She wasn't going to hear any arguments or reasons why they should stay and fight. There was four of them to think of now - their children didn't need them to be heroes this time.

"But – " John began.

"No buts," she insisted. "Ten cycles ago you told me we should run first ask no questions later. I'm telling you now it's our only option."

~*~*~

They were happy once.

Life was no longer filled with guns and destruction. They no longer had to watch their backs or expect disaster around the next corner. There was peace, happiness and family.

Aeryn remembered how full her life was then. Her heart was filled with so much love, something she didn't even know existed until she met John. With him she had learnt to love, be loved and to laugh. She had learnt was it was like to be completely content with a simple life.

During their rest periods, she’d even found herself taking the time to listen to all the sounds on board Moya. Even when their ship was at its quietest, it was still alive with activity.

Down one end of the many corridors, she could hear the familiar sound of 1812 outside her son's quarters. The DRD was buzzing its own version of a lullaby, something she remembered John had taught it on the day of Little D'Argo's birth.

More DRD's beeped and buzzed through the corridors, doing their routine maintenance checks. She realized then, despite how annoying the machines could be, that she would be lost without their familiar sounds.

Her favourite sound though, was had always closest to her. John's steady breath in her ear was the last thing she focused on before she went to sleep. He would mould himself around her back and put his arm around her protectively, like he was holding her in place until they both woke up. Sometimes she wondered if, even after all these cycles, subconsciously he would hold her close because he was still afraid of losing her.

"We're like the Robinson family from Lost in Space," he’d suddenly announced one day. He’d propped himself up on one elbow and looked down at her with a lopsided grin. "Mum, dad, kids . . . even the crazy little robot."

She’d turned to him and thought for a moment. Confusion was steadily washing over her. She still couldn't quite understand this supposedly famous family in earth culture.

"We're not lost," she’d told him.

"The Swiss Family Robinson then," he’d replied with a shrug. "They were stuck on a deserted island."

"But we're on a ship."

He’d sighed pointedly. "The Crichton's in space then. Travellers, explorers, whatever."

She’d tried to suppress a smile at his growing frustration. "The Sun-Crichton's actually."

He’d chuckled in her ear and then kissed her on the temple. "You hear that kiddo?" he said as he placed his hand on the growing swell in her stomach. "Your mother is the boss around here, you'll learn that quickly like your brother and I did."

"Hopefully he won't be as slow learning it as you were," she’d said, trying to sound serious but knowing that a small laugh would instantly follow.

"He?" John questioned. "Is that what we have in there, another boy?"

"Well, I don't know for sure, but D'Argo seems convinced it's a boy he can play football with," she’d replied, unamused. "Honestly John, did you have to teach him that ridiculous game? I don't want him gutting some poor creature to use its bladder."

"It's an earth tradition, and hey, he wouldn't even be thinking about gutting anything if you hadn't taught him a thousand and one ways to kill someone with a knife."

She’d looked at him quizzically. "Don't you think it's a good skill to have?"

"Honey, he's six years old."

"What's your point?" she’d asked. "By the time I was his age I was learning to disassemble a pulse rifle. He's clearly acquired a slow learning gene from humans."

"Aeryn, he doesn't need those skills, the universe is at peace, remember?

~*~*~

Four cycles later and the universe was far from peaceful.

Out on Moya's observation deck, Aeryn watched the gunfire off in the distance. With each explosion she could see coming from the Scarran Dreadnaught she could feel her heart slowly break - piece by tiny piece.

Why had she left him there to face those monsters on his own?

"Aeryn, you have to go," John insisted. "They've given you an out; this is a once only deal."

She shook her head. "No, I won't."

"If you don't they'll kill us both, they'll find Little D and Olivia and they'll . . ." he paused, pushing away whatever thoughts had come to mind. "They need their mother."

"They need their father too," she told him firmly, trying not to let the lump in her throat and the stinging in her eyes overwhelm her.

Soldiers don't cry in battle she told herself. She was going to be strong, stand by her convictions like she always did. She wasn't going to let him convince her that taking the Scarrans deal of her freedom for his knowledge was a good idea. She knew what would happen when they found out the only knowledge he had were a few faded memories.

"We can fight them," she insisted. "We can get out . . . together."

"Aeryn, this isn't like last time. We don't have Sikozu to blow the doors open, we don't have Jothee and the gang coming to our rescue, it's just us. And unless you've got some plan you've been holding out on, this is our only option."

The only plan she had, and had always stuck by, was that they protected each other. But deep down she knew he was right. They had children to protect now, not just each other. Children couldn't grow up without parents.

But what he was asking her, how could he? How could he expect her to choose? How was she supposed to choose between the man she loved and her children? She knew the choice should have been as clear cut as he made it out to be, but it wasn't.

Without him, she was no one; she would be lost - again. Their children wouldn't smile as much nor would their laughter fill Moya's corridors when he played those silly earth games with them. He was the heart of their family, so how could he just expect her to give up that heart without a fight?

"Daddy's not coming back, is he?"

The innocent question from her daughter pulled Aeryn from her thoughts and hung in the air until she found the strength to turn around and put on her bravest smile. She picked Olivia up and pulled her into an embrace. 

"Of course he is."

But the explosions on the Dreadnaught in the distance only told her otherwise.


End file.
